I had a dream last night about Layla. I can't remember if that's happened to me before. Maybe while I was pregnant, but not since I had her. You would think that my dream would have been about her being with us. Holding her and feeding her. Seeing her with Bryan & Kylie. But it wasn't.
(my dream)
I was at a wedding reception with my sister & mom. I was 32 weeks pregnant with Layla. We were dancing and having fun. I sat down next to them after a song was over and put my hand on my belly. I could feel Layla moving around. Not a solid kick like with Kylie. Suddenly, I looked at Sarah & asked, "When was my last appointment?" She told me it was at 26 weeks. I freaked out because I needed to hear her heartbeat. It had been 6 weeks since I had an apt and I just had to go in.
I woke up. I don't know what happened after that. I think it's interesting that even in my dream, we knew her diagnosis. It's not like I was having a dream about a different baby or a healthy Layla.
I'm sure I could analyze it all day, but in all reality, I just miss her. And the truth is, I do just want to hear her heartbeat again or feel her in my tummy. It will be eight months on Sunday, since she was born.
I've been a little stressed at work, and working a lot more than I should. I haven't had as much time to think about her. My dream was a nice break from reality. A reminder about the thing that really matters. Family.
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1 comment:
So sad! I understand those dreams. Our little Anna Bella would have been 7 on the 28th of this month. We still miss her--and hardly a day goes by that I don't think about her- although not with the pain that it initially caused. Blessings- Diana
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