Kylie May

Kylie May

Layla Faith

Layla Faith

Zoey Noelle

Zoey Noelle

Boyee

Boyee
Our baby boy, due March 16th.

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Home, Sweet Home

I've missed you! I feel like it's been so long since I've written. This is such a nice outlet for me. I've been thinking about writing a nice long post about Layla's Story for a couple days but haven't had time. Maybe after Kylie goes back to school, I'll have some time to think & write.

We're home. We came home on Thursday afternoon, just shy of my 48 hour mark. I'm pleased to say that I recover very quickly from this (I did with Kylie, too). So, as I've said before, I'm doing good physically. Being home has been a dramatic switch from being in the nice quiet hospital room. I don't remember it being this way with Kylie, but obviously this is different. My first day home, yesterday, was really rough. My best friend, Crimson was here & helped make my house look nice while I sat on the couch. Adam & Staci were great, too. They cleaned, did laundry & dishes, and watched Kylie. It was so perfect to have them here.

I've emotionally been on this roller coaster. I'll be okay for a while, then something just triggers the tears. When Layla was in my tummy, every night before bed, Kylie would pull my shirt up and talk to Baby Layla. On Thursday night, she was sitting by me and said, "I want to say hi to Baby Layla" and pulled up my shirt. Through the tears, I had to remind her that Layla was in heaven with Jesus. She asked why I was crying and I told her I miss Layla. Then she snuggled with me & said she missed her too.

Two kinds of sad. I don't know if this makes sense. But when I think about holding, smelling, and kissing her, I am sad and brought to tears. But, when I think her as my sweet little angel in heaven with Jesus, I'm sad but in a different way. I received a blog from a dear friend a couple days ago. It has given me the perspective that I need and helped me to acknowledge that Layla's tiny body was just her shell here on earth.  I am comforted by the fact that Layla's soul is in heaven and we will see her again. A loss here on earth is not final, it's temporary. As Christians, we have hope and we will be reunited in heaven.

I would love to respond to every single one of your messages. I have read and probably re-read all of them. We are so blessed to have such a great support system. We know we can lean on you for anything we need. Thank you for the food, gift cards, Celebrating Layla Faith donations and prayers. We feel so incredibly blessed. We can't say thank you enough.

3 comments:

Keri Kitchen said...

I'm so sorry for your loss... and so thankful we have the promise that Heaven is Real. We know little Layla's story doesn't end here!!

Anonymous said...

Nancy & Bryan;
As a mom, I hardly know what to say. My heart breaks for you. When I found out that you were going to the hospital to deliver, I went home from work and read your blog from start to finish. I was so inspired by your faith and strength that you really blessed me. It made every struggle that we face quite small in the scope of what you were going through. It will take time to go through the grieving process and it's okay, but please know that a lot of people love you and we will continue to pray for you. I am so proud of who you both have become; a strong Godly young couple. Ministries are sometimes birthed from grief and hardship...Just saying'. :)

Shirley Henderson

Marissa's Blog said...

I'm so glad you are home, sweet home. Your two kinds of sad make TOTAL sense. I love what your friend said about Layla...she is in Jesus' arms right now. Someday, we will all meet her. I was at the Christmas Xtravaganza today as a vendor...thought of you! Bless you.