No News is Good News

Bryan really doesn't like that phrase. My family has always used it. If we're leaving, it's like an assumption that if you don't hear anything, everything's fine. According to Bryan, it really doesn't make sense. Anyway, I just wanted to write to say everything is going well so far. No news is good news.

We should have had our 10 week appointment today, but our Dr. was booked. We're having it next Wednesday. I'm glad we have them every two weeks because I'm getting ancy to see our baby & know that everything is still okay. One more week...

I've been feeling good, as long as I eat often. I'm very picky about what I eat. With Layla, I couldn't eat eggs. With Beanie I'm having a hard time with chicken. It's so weird, I love chicken but it doesn't even sound good to me. Cold cereal has been my friend. Kylie loves it too, so it works for an easy dinner when Bryan's not home.

Bryan's Starbucks has been under construction. Last week they worked out of a trailer. This week only the drive through is open. His hours have been really different, so it's been interesting for us. He's had to be gone by 6 some mornings which leaves me to get myself & Kylie ready for school. I know it's not that hard with one, but He usually does a lot for us. It's resulted in some not-so good hair days for me. But, it's been kind of nice to have him home at night. Kylie and I have our evening routine, so it's a little different, but nice.

Kylie will be 4 in a few weeks. We're starting to think about her party, but even more exciting is Adam & Staci's wedding! It' on the 20th. Kylie is going to be the flower girl & she is so thrilled! I think Bryan & I have been pretty lucky with Kylie. It hasn't been 'hard' to discipline her. No major issues or anything...until this week! It's like a switch flipped or something. She's been hitting, sticking her tongue out and just not listening. This has been a challenge for Bryan & I. We've had to get on the same page with how we discipline. I know we should have done this a couple years ago, but didn't have much reason to. I think we have a pretty good system down & are handling it well. It's definitely been a challenge. I'm glad we're dealing with it now instead of with a newborn. I do wonder if it has anything to do with my being pregnant. I guess there's no way to tell. It's probably just her personality shining through. Looking forward to the fantastic fours! :)

I know I mentioned before that Kylie was calling my belly Layla. We spent so much time talking about Layla while I was pregnant with her. We just had to prepare Kylie for what was happening. I wonder if she is worried about Beanie and doesn't know how to express it. There are a few or more times each week that she talks about Layla. It's pretty random, but her little brain must just remember different things. I dropped her off at school one day & she looked pretty sad. I asked her if she was happy & she told me she missed Layla. Or at dinner last night she got really quiet and said the same thing. But, that's all she usually says. Just that she misses Layla.

So last night, I asked Kylie if she would like to look at pictures after supper. I didn't want to do it if she didn't want to, but she did. We (Bryan too) sat on my bed with a photo album of Layla's pictures. Kylie had so much to say about each picture. We counted Layla's fingers and toes, and Kylie's too. She pointed out Layla's blanket and wanted to cuddle with it. The baby ring in a couple pictures, she said would fit Beanie when Beanie's born. She pointed out the pretty white dress that Layla wore and said "I hope we still have that dress. Can I see it?". So we took it out. I've always called it an angel dress. Which lead to me explaining that Layla is an angel up in heaven. That made Kylie pretty happy & she ran to her room saying "I have a book with angels in it!". She brought us "Heaven is for Real" and asked us to read it. There were many sweet comments that Kylie had during all of this. I truly treasured those moments with Kylie & Bryan. Just sitting & remembering & talking about Layla.

I kept myself from crying the whole time. I teared up a bit, but it reminded me of the feelings I had when Kylie came to visit us in the hospital. I had to be so strong. There were many times that she did see my cry, but that's okay. I just didn't want her visit to be a sad memory. I have video of the entire thing. I watched it once a while ago. I can't believe how I did that. It was only by His strength. There is a prayer at the end of the book that we prayed. Kylie continued the prayer. I've noticed that a lot of her feelings & thoughts come out in her prayers. It's like a peek into how she's feeling. She prayed that Layla is happy in heaven and continued "Please let us keep Beanie here so we can put her to bed and feed her and change her diaper and look at her belly button." (We saw a newborn a couple weeks ago & she noticed the belly button.)

I know she's only four so her thoughts aren't that advanced. What I do hear just makes me smile or tear up. There was one thing she did that reminded me of when I was pregnant with Layla. After we first bought Layla's pink blanket, in our apartment, Kylie laid it out on the floor and folded it like there was a baby in it. I have a video of her talking about 'Layla's blanket' and wrapping her up when she comes home. Last night, she did the same thing, It was almost identical to my memory/video. Last night she was quiet and just laid out the blanket, folded it up, and put it on her bed.

I can tell Layla's birthday is coming up & that I'm pregnant. I've been more emotional & crabby this week. I went on a field trip to the apple orchard this morning with Kylie & remembered I was pregnant last year when we went. It's another season, which brings back other memories of when I had Layla in my belly. It will be 10 months on Saturday.

This post got much longer than I anticipated, but I've been wanting to write for along time. As usual, prayers are appreciated for trust and comfort in God that Beanie will be healthy. Also, for our challenges with Kylie this week. We appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers for us. Stay tuned for a post next Wednesday after our appointment!