Feeding Faith

This might be a long post. I feel like I've had a lot to write. I'll begin by saying we had an appointment for Layla this morning. It was our 31 week heartbeat appointment. Her heartbeat was 165. Dr. always says she's happy & wiggly. I asked if she could tell what position Layla was in, and she pulled in the portable ultrasound machine. It's always fun to take a look. She is mostly on my right side and is not head down. All of the excess fluid is on my lower left side. We'll find out why and what that means next Tuesday. Last week I was measuring at 34 weeks (4 weeks ahead of schedule). This week, I'm measuring at 36 weeks, which means I've grown "2 weeks" in one week. It is mostly all fluid that is building up. I was trying to do the math, which means I'd feel like I'm 40 weeks in 2 weeks. Please pray that the fluid stops building up and that I don't go into pre-term labor. Layla's Dr had previously said he didn't feel that a therapeutic amniocentesis was necessary. That was when I was 20 weeks, and he didn't think we'd make it this far. So I'm going to ask again, but I'm not sure what the point of it would be. It was cool to see Layla again today. You can really tell our Dr. loves what she does. She explained so much to us, while looking at the ultrasound. Showed us where her heart, eyes, teeth, fingers, tummy was. I'm sure it was interesting to her, too, since she hasn't seen Layla and her cute little arms and legs. Overall, it was a good appointment. 

My sister, Emily, is days away from having her little girl in Florida. Mom is there visiting and helping with Isabelle. We're anxiously awaiting news when she's born!

My sister, Sarah, is 2 weeks from her due date. We have the same Dr, and usually have our appointments on the same day. It's always nice to see her before my appointments. We have our 32 week ultrasound next Tuesday, so Sarah's coming with since mom's in Florida. I had mentioned to Sarah that I was looking for a hat for Layla that would be small enough. Today she gave me one that she found at a craft fair. It was made for a doll & it's perfect! 

Kylie was Vanna for me. 

On to what I wanted to write about, feeding faith. On Friday/Saturday I went on an annual shopping trip with Bryan's Aunts and cousins. It was really a great time. We spent the night in a hotel an stayed up late talking about Layla and other things. If any of you are wondering, I love talking about Layla. Of course, some days are more difficult and I'm more emotional, but typically it's a joy to talk about her. She's still my little baby and I'm already proud of everything she's been able to do from in there. 

God can do it, He will do it for me, and even if He doesn't. Well, I look back at my earlier posts and I was very focused on the first two. Recently, I've been in the mindset of 'even if He doesn't'. Now, I don't think it's wrong for me to think realistically and plan for Layla not making it, however, I've been fed faith these last couple days. 

On Sunday, I was able to talk to a family that is going through a hard time. I was telling them how cool it is that they're being so positive and faithful. She said we're 'feeding off each other'. That's so true. Surrounding yourself with positive people makes all the difference. We're so blessed to be around people who are constantly reminding us to be faithful. A co-worker said, "What if Layla's in the NICU at Christmas?". That would be awesome!!! Another close friend said that she is praying so hard and is so convinced that Layla will be healthy. She is ready to show the Dr.'s that they're wrong. The other phrase I heard was "God ain't done yet!". Amen. God isn't done yet! 

I've been so focussed on losing Layla. I've been thinking about a memorial service and ways to honor her. Thinking of Christmas without her, how I will be after she's gone. But God ain't done yet. We need to keep praying for a miracle. At our apt on Tuesday, I'm praying that they will see more lung tissue & signs that she is practicing breathing. I'm praying that the fluid will decrease and stop building up. I'm praying that I don't go into labor early, and that we can make it until December 16th!

Thank you for praying with us and for feeding us faith. I pray that our story is feeding faith to someone out there.