Speeding

I found myself going 80 mph on the highway yesterday. Some of you may drive that fast all the time, but I don't! It caught me off guard. Immediately, I let off the gas to slow down and thought to myself, "How did that happen? I wasn't even thinking about driving.". 

When I got home, and finally had the chance to sit and relax with Kylie, I realized that I've been speeding. I have just been going and going. It felt great at the time. Getting things done, feeling productive, learning things, enjoying fun lunch dates. I was caught up in the speed of it all. Once I slowed down, I became aware that I need to take some time for myself/my family. 

So, Kylie stayed home from school today and we slept in. Bryan has off today and surprised me with 24 hour getaway at this awesome hotel, The Iron Horse. A friend of mine had to design a hotel for a college project and showed me this one. Since then, we've wanted to stay there. 

Being busy, I haven't had the down time to sit and think about Layla. Which, I think is good. I still think of her all the time. But, I feel like it's getting better. When I do have time, I look at pictures or think of holding her in my left arm right after she came out. I remember feeling her chest move a few times, and how warm she was, and Bryan and I just staring at her every move. Now, it makes me smile. They are good memories. 

My sister and I were both watching a Hallmark movie the other night. It was about a little girl who had lost her mom and felt like she was forgetting. Her dad said, "That's what happens to everyone who loses somebody they love. That's just your minds way of protecting you. Making you forget a little bit so that your heart doesn't keep breaking." I guess what I'm trying to say, is that my heart isn't breaking every time I think of her. I'm glad that now, thinking of Layla makes me smile.