Okay, so I have a lot of thoughts about this. I'm hoping that I can explain them in an organized and well-explained way. We'll see.
I know that many people have been reading my blog since the very beginning. I've gotten a lot of encouraging comments about my writing. Personally, I think it's just my honesty & openness that people like in my blog. I don't sugar-coat anything. I write like I would be talking & I talk about how I'm feeling (even if it's not pretty).
I would qualify my situation as a tragedy; a disastrous event or misfortune. I reacted to my tragedy with unrealistic optimism and faith in God. I believe that I did this because it's what I have seen others do & what I've been taught. It's just how you react. I remember Pastor Mark saying that he'd give himself 24 hours to freak out, and then move forward. The freaking out came in spurts. Trust me, there were days that I freaked out & allowed myself to cry my eyes out and feel sorry for myself. But, I always had to reset & remember how I needed to respond to this situation. Not only for me to be able to cope, but for my family & friends. It was my testimony of faith in action. People were watching me. (This is not to say I changed, but I knew that I had to pull through. Feeling sorry for myself would not encourage anyone or show anyone how God can give you peace through a situation.)
I reacted consciously. My reaction was not how I felt. At all. I had to intentionally deny my emotions and make myself think positively. If I would have allowed myself to be 'bummed', to say the least, I would have questioned God. I would have been angry and mad about what was happening. I was confused and sad, but that's different. I could have easily turned away from God because of my confusion. I could have blamed Him for allowing this to happen. But why? What would the point of that be? For others to feel bad for me? For me to feel better? I don't think any of that would have been worth it.
When a tragedy comes into someone's life, that person has to choose how they will react. If they don't intentionally decide how to react, the default will be to act how they feel. My point in all of this, is to say that when you see someone in the face of tragedy, you pray and hope that they will chose faith. It is so easy to act and react how you feel. It is NOT easy to react with faith, peace and trust in God. It's not the 'easy way'. The biggest testimony, is to see someone intentionally chose faith.
People would tell me all the time, how inspiring I was. I did not feel like I was inspiring anyone. I was merely keeping my head above water in the midst of uncertainty and confusion. However, I have recently seen a couple people choose to react how I did. Now, I can see how it can be inspiring. It is refreshing to observe someone make that decision. I know I keep repeating this, but remember this is a conscious decision. These people, who show so much strength throughout tragedy, don't feel it. (Having been there, I can say that.) There is so much confusion about why these things happen and the answer is most likely not a week away.
It truly is refreshing and inspiring to see someone with faith through an incredible tragedy. It's amazing to watch that. With all of that being said, thank you. For finding my story inspiring, even though I didn't understand why you thought that at the time. Be encouraged to intentionally choose to have faith and trust God when you face a tragedy of your own. Know that when you see someone that you're inspired by, it's not easy to act the way that you're amazed with. Pray for them, to feel the peace and strength that they are operating in. It's not easy, but it is inspiring.
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2 comments:
Thank you for CHOOSING Faith and being a living example of God's love! :)
Amen. Only someone that has lived through these situations really understand it. It is sometimes HARD to choose the reset someday, isn't it? xo Diana
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